So with only about 6 weeks until the start of the grandslam I became very aware that's it's been a while since I have done any meaningful or consistent blogging. Why? The short answer is I have been bloody busy. The more complicated answer is that for a period I have lost focus. Not focus on running. This isn't another blog about mojo.
My focus just generally went. I became so busy that my mind was either overwhelmed by what I hadn't done or what I had yet to do. This was at work, at home and everything else in between. It started to feel a bit like I wasn't living, but with the horrible consequence that I still had lots to do. This in turn meant lots of projects being put on the backburner. Blogging being one of them.
I have 7 blogs half finished. This includes gucr from nearly a year ago. I will get that finished next. I have numerous private contracts on the go and a regular contract that takes up time. Two gorgeous children and a wife who also need quality time. The fact was things were piling up and paralysis setting in. Something had to change.
For me blogging has been a way to not only be accountable, but to stay connected and hopeful post things from time to time that others can relate to. In taking back control everything needed to become purposeful. If that was watching a tv show then that is what would be done. If it's writing a report then that is what would be done. Distraction needed to be parked and I need to act with more purpose. I have left several Facebook groups. Simply I realised I was putting more into them than I was getting out. The negative energy was without a doubt affecting my mental health and yet every time I turned to my mobile device I was looking at the notifications button. That dreaded button became some kind of indicator to my value for the day. What a shit thing to do. I am not and will not be defined by a Facebook thumb, a star? A heart or any other emoji that so global business deem appropriate to associate with popularity.
The only way I could turn things around was to be in control. Changes to tax law and other matters meant a review of finances and how to proceed moving forward, but it was also a time to review actions for the future. I have ended the use of a running coach. Eddie is great and I have learnt so much from her about running and what it means to me. I have learnt what works and what will achieve success. It's now time for me to plan and take ownership of my training in a more exclusive way. I can do this and I will do this. I have rejoiced the gym and been using this to mix my training up. It's a challenge to put my own plan together and stick to it, but the need for focus has been very needed.
I've realised when things are frantic sometimes a run has to take a back seat and at other times it is the essential thing to fix or put my day into perspective.
Generally the Twitter community are a great source of support, jokes etc, but largely because the group I communicate with all have similar interests. It does not have the same negative effect as Facebook where groups have a subject repeatedly bumped to the top by yet another comment. Topics in Facebook stagnate and drive me mad. Similarly the time wasted on mindless tapping of games has probably added up to more than I care to admit.
I'm determined to press on with my running and to limit time I give to stress and worry. I hope that by giving work a limited space I will also free up space for family time and more focus on them.
So from here I am going to press on with things that are helpful to me and enjoyable. This should result in more blogging and more efficient training, but generally a fitter and happier me. Hopefully that will also result in those around me feeling happier.
For all your runners doing a centurion 100 this year do come and say hello; even if we have never met before. Social media should be a conduit for human interaction and not a substitute. I love the ultra running community and catching up with people at races is half the fun. Hopefully you will be saying hello to a fitter, slimmer and happier me. All being well in October you will see me sporting a massive buckle to accompany a suitably sized grin.
More blogs to follow!